Dangling Participles Exercise (631)

Revise each sentence below to so that the introductory phrase correctly refers to the subject.

Answers and Explanations

1.
Original: Coming from a Hollywood family, we aren’t surprised to see that Smith had the confidence needed to successfully transition in full sight of the public eye.
Correct : Considering that Smith comes from a Hollywood family, we aren’t surprised to see that she had the confidence needed to successfully transition in full sight of the public eye.

Smith is from a Hollywood family, so "Smith," not "we," is the subject of the sentence.

2.
Original: Originally titled "Out of the Void," development of the video game began in 1997.
Correct : Originally titled "Out of the Void," the video game was developed starting in 1997.

The video game, not development of the video game, is the subject.

3.
Original: Once a fairytale city, they have managed to turn San Francisco into a haven for foreign criminals.
Correct : Once a fairytale city, San Francisco is now, thanks to them, a haven for foreign criminals.

The name of the onetime fairytale city is the subject, so it should immediately follow the introductory clause.

4.
Original: A singer-songwriter, there are some who say Jennifer Lopez’s "On the Floor" is similar to Kat DeLuna’s previously recorded "Party O’Clock."
Correct : A singer-songwriter, Kat DeLuna is known for "Party O’Clock." Some people say Jennifer Lopez’s "On the Floor" is similar to DeLuna’s song, which was recorded before Lopez’s.

The writer of this sentence erred in trying to fit too much information into one sentence: "There are some" is erroneously identified as a singer-songwriter. The name of the person should be at the head of the main clause, and the reference to the resemblance between the two songs requires a separate sentence.

5.
Original: Born in war-torn Afghanistan, his memories of childhood are a blur of confusing images.
Correct : Born in war-torn Afghanistan, he recalls his childhood in memories that are a blur of confusing images.

The sentence identifies the subject’s memories as being born in war-torn Afghanistan. The revision is one of various possible rewrites in which "he" properly takes the place of "his memories" as the subject.

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