Writers often unconsciously construct a sentence in which the key information appears at the tail of the sentence. Many, too, take insufficient care to avoid wordiness. All too frequently, readers stumble across sentences that suffer from both problems. In this post are three examples of sentences that are both passive and verbose. The discussion that … Read more
In each of the following pairs of clauses, an ineffectual presentation of information is strengthened by altering sentence structure through combination. Discussion and revision follow each example. 1. Only about 7,500 fans attended the game, and about two-thirds of them had not paid for their tickets. What is intended to be a modestly dramatic admission … Read more
When a list of items in a sentence is not a simple matter of a, b, and c, writers can easily err in erroneously constructing the sentence, mangling the syntax in the mistaken belief that nonequivalent items are equivalent. Each of the sentences below presents a distinct problem with parallel structuring of lists, and the … Read more
Often, an incorrect form of punctuation is deployed to set off the introduction of a saying or a question from the quoted material itself. The following sentences demonstrate various errors related to this issue, and discussions and revisions explain the problem and illustrate one or more solutions. 1. The old saying, “What gets rewarded gets … Read more
When do you capitalize a word or phrase that denotes an academic discipline? This post details the distinctions between these terms as proper nouns and as generic descriptions. If you’re writing a résumé or a biographical blurb for yourself or someone else, or editing one, or you’re otherwise referring to an academic discipline, begin one … Read more
Each of the following sentences is muddled because a parenthetical phrase is incorrectly punctuated. Discussion of each example explains the problem, and one or more revisions resolve it. 1. This phase consists of a management experience whose intensity and scope has few, if any rivals. The phrase “if any” is a parenthetical—a sentence element that … Read more
In each of the sentences below, misplacement of a word, or absence of a word, presents an obstacle to comprehension. Discussion and a revision follows each example. 1. These regulations either need to be revised or repealed. When employing an “either . . . or” phrase, the verb that applies to both choices, which are … Read more
In each of the following sentences, the manner in which the statement is constructed hinders rather than aids comprehension. In each example, discussion describes the problem, and a revision provides a solution. 1. To what extent are you expected to know your customers, a term that refers to identifying and validating client identity? “Know your … Read more
References to numbers, spelled out or in numeral form, often include erroneous use of hyphens or dashes, as shown in the following examples. Errors are explained and corrected in the discussion and revision that follows each sentence. 1. The US men’s basketball team won seven Olympic gold medals between 1936–68. A dash (not a hyphen) … Read more
Sentences need not be pared down to essentials—the challenge is to make them as coherent as possible, not as concise as possible—but careful writers will craft and revise their writing in part by minimizing the number of words necessary to convey their thoughts. Three simple strategies are demonstrated in discussions of and revisions to the … Read more
Sentences that employ the “not only . . . but also” counterpoint (as in “I visited not only France but also Spain”) can confound writers, who often fail to apply logical syntax when using this construction. As shown in the examples below, such confusion often occurs in similarly posed statements. Discussion and revision of each … Read more
Each of the following sentences is flawed because omission of a word prevents the statement from conveying the intended meaning. Discussion and revision point out the missing word. 1. Smith will discuss the organization’s mission and activities to date. The writer likely did not intend to suggest that the discussion would be about both the … Read more