Writing doesn’t always have to be a serious business. Though it’s wise to make sure that you write correctly, there’s a lot of fun to be had when playing with words.
Two emails that landed in my inbox the other day made me chuckle. The first was called Humor for Lexophiles. I won’t reproduce the whole thing, but here are a few of my favorites:
- The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
- To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
- A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
- The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
- A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
- You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
- Acupuncture: a jab well done.
The second source of amusement was an email featuring metaphors from student essays. Here are a few that caught my eye
- His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
- She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
- Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
- McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
- Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
- The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
- It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
Obviously, I’m not the only one who got these emails, so if you want to see more of these gems, look here and here.