Diction Exercise (389)

Edit the following sentences to remove unnecessary words or expressions.

Answers and Explanations

1.
Original: It goes without saying that customer satisfaction is our highest priority.
Correct : Customer satisfaction is our highest priority.

If a thing is not worth saying, the wisest practice is not to say it. This vacuous cliché may annoy potential customers.

2.
Original: We will ship your order by means of UPS.
Correct : We will ship your order by UPS.

The meaning is clear without the extra words.

3.
Original: We hope that you will afford us an opportunity to be your supplier.
Correct : We hope that you will let us be your supplier.
Alterna.: We hope to be your supplier.

The wordy "afford us the opportunity to" was popular in wordier times. Other synonyms for afford in this context: allow, give.

4.
Original: The delivery was delayed by reason of a snowstorm.
Correct : The delivery was delayed by a snowstorm.

"The delivery was delayed because of a snowstorm" and similar versions would also be correct.

5.
Original: Our factory will be closed during the course of the inspection.
Correct : Our factory will be closed during the inspection.

"The course" adds nothing to the meaning of the sentence.

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