Wordiness Exercise (199)

Some words in the following sentences can be replaced with a single noun or verb that means the same thing. Make the substitution.

Answers and Explanations

1.
Original: Many classroom educational professionals complained about the problem of reading failure.
Correct : Many teachers complained about the problem of reading failure.

Professional jargon tends to replace simple, traditional terms with unnecessary mouthfuls. An "educational professional" who teaches children in the classroom is usually a "teacher."

2.
Original: The director of the school district made comments about the new policy.
Correct : The director of the school district commented about the new policy.

"Made comments" is a nominalization: a noun derived from a verb. Writing style is generally improved by turning a nominalization back into the verb from which it derives.

3.
Original: It was suggested that teachers could make improvements to the program by teaching children to spell the words they use.
Correct : It was suggested that teachers could improve the program by teaching children to spell the words they use.

"Make improvements to" is another nominalization. It should be replaced with "improve."

4.
Original: Students shouldn’t make guesses about the spelling of words.
Correct : Students shouldn’t guess the spelling of words.

"Make guesses about" can be replaced with "guess."

5.
Original: Giving lessons in correct spelling in the beginning prevents the need for remediation later.
Correct : Teaching correct spelling in the beginning prevents the need for remediation later.

"Giving lessons in" is a circumlocution for "teaching."

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