An honest, or nearly honest person may make a mistake, and regret their choice. This is taking responsibility for their choices, and for all the consequences of those choices.

For too many of those incarcerated, or should be, their only regret is getting caught. They blame chance and luck, their cohorts and partners, they blame the cops for interfering, or the victim for messing up their plan. They didn’t make a mistake, a regrettable choice – they believe they made the right choice, they just slipped up this once.

It is easy to spot kids in schools today with either attitude. The general approach to life is often set by age four, when the personality is reputed to be formed. People change all the time, when they encounter a life-changing influence. But too many people meet bad influences, and way too many never find the door out to honor and respect.

Yes, they probably didn’t want to get caught but isn’t regret a product of consequences not actions?

What other word would be suitable?

I wouldn’t call it a mistake if you didn’t know about the lie.

or marrying the wrong man–things

I had to read that twice before I realized you weren’t saying “man-things”

The mistake was tax evasion

Evading thieves trying to steal your property is not usually considered a mistake.

“Blue and green go together only in the washing machine.”

Interesting. My mother says “blue and green must ne’er be seen”…but I often see people—and I mean people who get professional fashion advice, like movie stars and TV news anchors—wearing blue and green, so always discounted it…

There are two parts. One is that the speaker has concern for your dismay. The other is that what you are dismayed about – the speaker may have done intentionally, and does not consider the act an error or mistake. When the speaker acts out of necessity or obligation, the act itself does not require an apology. Regardless, the impact of that act might cause the listener to feel the need to have their justifiable feelings acknowledged.

“I am sorry you were startled and scared by US Air Force One buzzing downtown Manhattan like a hijacked airliner during morning rush hour last Monday. President Obama’s people told the FAA and NYPD – requiring them to keep the plans secret – so no laws were broken, and they got one really nice picture and a couple of hilarious shots of office buildings emptying.”

“I am sorry, ma’am, I will still need to see your driver’s license and registration, please.” The highway patrol officer is apologizing for the impact of his intrusion into the driver’s life. The act of stopping the motorist and demanding identification are done out of responsibility and to serve the public good (supposedly), and no apology is offered for the stop or the demand for identification.

A callous or arrogant person might refuse to apologize for their behavior for pathological reasons, and a person refusing to take responsibility for their actions might refuse to apologize as well.

Which is one reason that honest and clear communication is to be cherished, and a courtesy we might each extend to those around us.