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Anyone who’s ever written a short story or taken a freshman composition course has heard the words “show, don’t tell.”
I know those words can be frustrating. You might not know exactly what “show, don’t tell” means. Or you might believe that you are showing when you’re really telling.
While “telling” can be useful, even necessary, most people don’t realize how vital “showing” is to an effective story, essay, or even a blog post. Showing allows the reader to follow the author into the moment, to see and feel and experience what the author has experienced. Using the proper balance of showing and telling will make your writing more interesting and effective.
“Okay, I get it,” you’re thinking. “But how do I do it? How do I bring more ’showing’ into my writing?”
I’m glad you asked. Here are some tips that will help make your writing more vivid and alive for your reader.
1. Use dialogue
This is probably one of the first things I talk to my students about when I have them write personal essays. Dialogue allows the reader to experience a scene as if they were there. Instead of telling the reader your mom was angry, they can hear it for themselves:
“Justin Michael,” mom bellowed, “Get in here this instant!”
Dialogue can give your reader a great deal about character, emotion and mood.
2. Use sensory language
In order for readers to fully experience what you’re writing about, they need to be able to see, hear, taste, smell and touch the world around them. Try to use language that incorporates several senses, not just sight.
3. Be descriptive
I’m sure everyone remembers learning to use adjectives and adverbs in elementary school. When we’re told to be more descriptive, it’s easy to go back to those things that we were taught. But being descriptive is more than just inserting a string of descriptive words. It’s carefully choosing the right words and using them sparingly to convey your meaning.
The following example is from a short story I wrote.
Telling: He sits on the couch holding his guitar.
There’s nothing wrong with that sentence. It gives the reader some basic information, but it doesn’t create an image. Compare that sentence with this:
Showing: His eyes are closed, and he’s cradling the guitar in his arms like a lover. It’s as if he’s trying to hold on to something that wants to let go.
The second example takes that basic information and paints a picture with it. It also uses figurative language—in this case, the simile “cradling the guitar in his arms like a lover”—to help create an image.
When using description, it’s important not to overdo it. Otherwise, you can end up with what I call “police blotter” description. For example:
He was tall, with brown hair and blue eyes. He wore a red shirt and jeans, and a brown leather jacket.
4. Be specific, not vague
This is another one I’m constantly reminding my college students about. Frequently, they will turn in essays with vague, fuzzy language. I’m not sure if they think this type of writing sounds more academic, but all it really does is frustrate the reader.
Instead of writing, “I had never felt anything like it before in my entire life,” take the time to try and describe what that feeling was, and then decide how best to convey that feeling to the reader. Your readers will thank you for it.
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Thanks for a good post. I appreciate the examples you give to back up what you are saying. Too many blogs simply say “Do this and this…” but never give any concrete examples of how “this” is done.
Thanks, Dana. I’m glad you appreciated the post.
This is a basic yet extremely important writing rule that many writers seem to forget.
Just to note, though: some novels (The Glass Books of the Dream Eaters comes to mind) can get exhausting because almost everything is shown – there are no breaks in between to let you “catch your breath,” if that make sense.
And then there are books (like Shaman’s Crossing) that use a LOT of narrative summary (which is a form of telling, isn’t it?) and yet they’re still entertaining and popular.
I’m currently reading a book called “Self-editing for fiction writers” that explains these things in detail – anyone who’s interested in this may want to get it from the library.
That’s true, Thorn. That’s why I say finding a balance is important.
That book sounds great–I’ll have to check it out!
thanks alot for such a perfect post
I’m tring to take all ur tips and use them in my writing class
THANX AGAIN ^_^
wow.. i’ve never thought about that before.
thanks for the great tips.
i’ll definitely subscribe to your feed now.
thanks Miss Erin.
ps: why is it under finction writing?
This is a great tip…
Very basic yet very important
to note..
Thanks
Johnny
5th paragraph down, either my web browser is screwed or there is a typo: “vividand” as compared to “vivid and”.
Excuse the me·tic’u·los’i·ty
Your articles have made me more aware and informed.
Fantastic tips!
Thank you,I find the tips very useful.I look forward to reading the tips before the writing day begins.Saves me from, rigid thought patterns…
Hi
I can’t be bothered with anything these days, but shrug. I just don’t have anything to say recently.
G’night
stuart poulson is gay but this blog is great
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thank oyu
I need help writing a 1 page essay about a messy kitchen without using the words kitchen, mess or any of their synonyms basid on the show don’t tell method. Please someone help me!!!!!!!
i can’t find a word that show slam simple huuu
I just came across this site today while looking for writing tips online. I’m a teenage amateur novelist and find your tips extremely helpful. I was puzzled for years about the “show, don’t tell” phrase used copiously by teachers. Only recently have I begun to understand what it really means and how to use it. Here’s a sample of the products of my efforts:
A fluorescent light bulb in a frosted cover hung from the ceiling, illuminating a tiny lobby lined with dusty chairs. A few out-of-date magazines resided on a knee-high table in the corner. Despite the way everything was covered in dust and looked several years old, there was an interesting smell in the room, not the normal musty aroma I would have associated with it. Sort of like bay leaves and cinnamon.
I really tried to use more senses than just sight. Again, your tips are awesome. Keep it up!
-Jake
I pulled this up out of SHEER FRUSTRATION!!!!! I am currently teaching Freshman English 1301 and if I have written “Show! Don’t tell”! once, I’ve written it 1000 times! ARGH!!! They are trying to tie back vague thesis statements in their concluding paragraphs but GGGGAAAAA!!!!! Their thesis statements SAY NOTHING!!!!! Consequently, their conclusions SAY NOTHING!!!!!!!!! So…..I will continue my search for more examples of Show! Don’t Tell! (the college version of Show and Tell (heh-heh!) There! I have vented. Thank you very much!
hmmm, that won’t do. If I speak my mind the Grammar police and Vice Squad would arrest me for indelicate indecency. Good thing I wore my disquise, eh?
This is an interesting post, fascinating really however I really must something about my procrastination… possibly increase it.
Have a glorious day and I shall think hard and long regarding the advice herin.
I’m sitting on my stool, thinking what the yet have I been writing!
Great advise!