Show, Don’t Tell

Anyone who’s ever written a short story or taken a freshman composition course has heard the words “show, don’t tell.”

I know those words can be frustrating. You might not know exactly what “show, don’t tell” means. Or you might believe that you are showing when you’re really telling.

While “telling” can be useful, even necessary, most people don’t realize how vital “showing” is to an effective story, essay, or even a blog post. Showing allows the reader to follow the author into the moment, to see and feel and experience what the author has experienced. Using the proper balance of showing and telling will make your writing more interesting and effective.

“Okay, I get it,” you’re thinking. “But how do I do it? How do I bring more ’showing’ into my writing?”

I’m glad you asked. Here are some tips that will help make your writing more vivid and alive for your reader.

1. Use dialogue

This is probably one of the first things I talk to my students about when I have them write personal essays. Dialogue allows the reader to experience a scene as if they were there. Instead of telling the reader your mom was angry, they can hear it for themselves:

“Justin Michael,” mom bellowed, “Get in here this instant!”

Dialogue can give your reader a great deal about character, emotion and mood.

2. Use sensory language

In order for readers to fully experience what you’re writing about, they need to be able to see, hear, taste, smell and touch the world around them. Try to use language that incorporates several senses, not just sight.

3. Be descriptive

I’m sure everyone remembers learning to use adjectives and adverbs in elementary school. When we’re told to be more descriptive, it’s easy to go back to those things that we were taught. But being descriptive is more than just inserting a string of descriptive words. It’s carefully choosing the right words and using them sparingly to convey your meaning.

The following example is from a short story I wrote.

Telling: He sits on the couch holding his guitar.

There’s nothing wrong with that sentence. It gives the reader some basic information, but it doesn’t create an image. Compare that sentence with this:

Showing: His eyes are closed, and he’s cradling the guitar in his arms like a lover. It’s as if he’s trying to hold on to something that wants to let go.

The second example takes that basic information and paints a picture with it. It also uses figurative language—in this case, the simile “cradling the guitar in his arms like a lover”—to help create an image.

When using description, it’s important not to overdo it. Otherwise, you can end up with what I call “police blotter” description. For example:

He was tall, with brown hair and blue eyes. He wore a red shirt and jeans, and a brown leather jacket.

4. Be specific, not vague

This is another one I’m constantly reminding my college students about. Frequently, they will turn in essays with vague, fuzzy language. I’m not sure if they think this type of writing sounds more academic, but all it really does is frustrate the reader.

Instead of writing, “I had never felt anything like it before in my entire life,” take the time to try and describe what that feeling was, and then decide how best to convey that feeling to the reader. Your readers will thank you for it.

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Erin on May 29, 2007 | Filed Under Fiction Writing

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17 Responses to “Show, Don’t Tell”

Dana Mark on May 31st, 2007 10:14 pm

Thanks for a good post. I appreciate the examples you give to back up what you are saying. Too many blogs simply say “Do this and this…” but never give any concrete examples of how “this” is done.
Erin on May 31st, 2007 10:24 pm

Thanks, Dana. I’m glad you appreciated the post.
Thorn on June 3rd, 2007 5:23 pm

This is a basic yet extremely important writing rule that many writers seem to forget.

Just to note, though: some novels (The Glass Books of the Dream Eaters comes to mind) can get exhausting because almost everything is shown - there are no breaks in between to let you “catch your breath,” if that make sense.

And then there are books (like Shaman’s Crossing) that use a LOT of narrative summary (which is a form of telling, isn’t it?) and yet they’re still entertaining and popular.

I’m currently reading a book called “Self-editing for fiction writers” that explains these things in detail - anyone who’s interested in this may want to get it from the library.
Erin on June 5th, 2007 12:04 am

That’s true, Thorn. That’s why I say finding a balance is important.

That book sounds great–I’ll have to check it out!
m!ss-p!nky on June 9th, 2007 9:20 pm

thanks alot for such a perfect post
I’m tring to take all ur tips and use them in my writing class
THANX AGAIN ^_^
Jack Book on June 13th, 2007 7:30 am

wow.. i’ve never thought about that before.
thanks for the great tips.
i’ll definitely subscribe to your feed now.
thanks Miss Erin.

ps: why is it under finction writing?
JOHNNY on June 15th, 2007 3:31 pm

This is a great tip…
Very basic yet very important
to note..

Thanks

Johnny
Chanel on June 19th, 2007 4:56 am

5th paragraph down, either my web browser is screwed or there is a typo: “vividand” as compared to “vivid and”.

Excuse the me·tic’u·los’i·ty Your articles have made me more aware and informed.

Fantastic tips!
roger hamel on June 25th, 2007 6:20 am

Thank you,I find the tips very useful.I look forward to reading the tips before the writing day begins.Saves me from, rigid thought patterns…
tihopilik on July 8th, 2007 9:11 pm

Hi

I can’t be bothered with anything these days, but shrug. I just don’t have anything to say recently.

G’night
Damon Reece on November 20th, 2007 3:20 pm

stuart poulson is gay but this blog is great
dsnfcjrewfchrehfbchrdfc re f rfnvbhkreuigfv regvberhiegrbgfawr on January 8th, 2008 11:11 pm

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thank oyu
Alisha Villarini on March 7th, 2008 4:55 am

I need help writing a 1 page essay about a messy kitchen without using the words kitchen, mess or any of their synonyms basid on the show don’t tell method. Please someone help me!!!!!!!