My suspicion is that “a few stuff” is not intentional, much like using an apostrophe S for plurals is often not intentional (or, worse, an apostrophe S for third person singular verbs). If it is not intentional, it may not go away on its own.

German speakers often use that construct, though.

(The most confusing misuse of English by German speakers, IMO, is the use of “must not” to mean the opposite of “must”; i.e., “are not required to” — an English speaker saying “you must not touch this” is forbidding it, but a German speaker may well be saying “you can touch it if you want, but you don’t have to!”)

I find it very offensive if someone uses the ‘I need you to’ phrase to me, and I believe a child would find it equally offensive (even if they aren’t of age to comprehend or react to something offensive). I also find it offensive, and perhaps weak, to use ‘please’ at the end of the sentence, almost as an afterthought.

I’ll stick with, ‘Please pick up your toys. We can’t go until you do.’

Period. End of discussion. I see nothing weak about a direct, simple statement.

I train dogs and horses, and don’t ‘need’ them to do anything. The reason the animal’s name is stated at the beginning of the phrase is simply to gain its attention. After that comes the command, followed by whatever lesson or correction is necessary.

Wishy-washy, pleading statements usually result in wishy-washy results – with adults, children and animals.

Sally

I don’t think I would put it that way.

I would think that striving for precision in language usage, grammar, and content is something that evolved with scope of effect. That is, I expect an encyclopedia entry to be correct – it should stand for decades, with no opportunity to correct mistakes. A blog entry should be written as if the Library of Congress were collecting them for posterity (now, isn’t that a scary use of tax dollars, and yes, they do have a couple of blog archive programs going).

Comments on a blog don’t get a shot at read-overs, reviews, or corrections. We see someone miss the accepted number of “s”s in successful, and continue on.

I would contend that there is an element of conspicuous consumption in perfect grammar. That allowing time to study grammar rules, and time to critique and improve grammar and language usage, requires the luxury of time and effort diverted from providing one’s family with food, shelter, and security.

As for the “well, you know what I mean” phrase, I heard that from my parents 45 years ago. It is not new, it has nothing to do with age. In any field of endeavor their are laymen, craftsmen, and master craftsmen – those that are not trained or educated in the topic or craft, those that are trained, and those that have achieved a high degree of mastery. For the lay person, as long as they understand the meaning of what they wanted to say, the assumption is that their communication is sufficient to the purpose.

What is more important than those that don’t care about precision of language, is that by example and interest, those that are highly skilled help keep accuracy high and constantly improving.

Learning the distinction between precision and accuracy was a big shocker for me, in high school. I can state that my Sharpie is just under 5 1/2 inches, or even more than 5 inches. That is much less precise than saying it is 6.4062 inches, which would be a precise measurement, just under 6 13/32 inches. Precise, but over an inch worse in accuracy.

@ Sally,

I find that new parents are admonished to avoid confusing polite requests to their children, with clear instructions that will be enforced if need be.

“You need to pick up your toys before we can go.” would more properly be stated, “I need you to pick up your toys. We won’t go (or do anything else) until you do.” Where you don’t have the responsibility and authority to train – as a parent, teacher,, or supervisor would, your discourse is based on polite speech and interchange of respect. Where your authority will be enforced, though, your question or request invites other responses than obedience. Where a polite request is made when an instruction is clearly given, an implied lie – that the respondent has a choice – is made.

It might make sense for a parent to feel that their need to have the child obey, and pick up the toys in preparation for leaving, transmits a need for the child to obey this and other instructions. But assuming the transmission of that need makes for muddy communication – the child might not feel, at the moment, any pressing need for anything to change or happen. It isn’t clear that the parent’s assumption that the child needs to obey is true for the child, at the moment. Relating “before we can go” to picking up toys and to needs is assumed but not evident in the sentence.

“Pick up your toys, please,” would be a position of weakness. The child hears the request part, and understands that this isn’t a command that will be enforced. That will be several requests later in an extended conversation. The military portrays the correct form of command, which agrees with voice commands for draft horses. “John, pick up the toys in the dining room.” “Bonnie, whoa.” “Platoon, halt.” The form is to identify who is being tasked – the one or group being addressed – and the instruction.