Comments on: How to Edit a Sentence

By: Donna

Donna — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 19:45:41 +0000

Is Michael the author?

If so, thank you, Michael. This is helpful information.

It’s a terrific defense for why good editors change words over and over. They know that readers are always analyzing the message for its interest and veracity.

Well written material can help to sustain a reader’s interest. But even valid messages can leak credibility if poorly written.

It’s important to spare readers any struggle in getting the meaning.

By: Michael

Michael — Sun, 29 Jul 2007 11:36:06 +0000

Yes. probably I should have left out the age of the school. It might be important in the context of the whole paragraph, but I don’t need to complicate things.

By: Robert

Robert — Sun, 29 Jul 2007 04:59:34 +0000

I agree with Chris that I don’t understand why it’s important when the school was built in the context of that sentence. I can see that fact starting a second sentence. For instance: “The school, like my bicycle, was built in the 1970s.”

Perhaps I’m being difficult and it’s easy to come up with a reasonable example where the complete, edited sentence makes sense. I’ll think some more.

By: Chris

Chris — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 00:34:28 +0000

Hmm. I’d get rid of that last clause altogether. What’s the date of the school got to do with it? If it’s absolutely necessary, I’d go:

I picked up my lunch, got on my bike and headed to my appallingly-designed school.

ie I’d leave the first two verbs plain, emphasising the simple actions and making the grammatical (and rhythmical) parallel of the first two actions stronger. Next, I’d take whatever it is about the 70s school that is interesting (appalling design, light and airy, comforting pale brick…) and make it into one expression so that the point of the series of actions becomes the most interesting thing in the sentence (getting to school).

Others would have different solutions of course depending on the context.

By: Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker

Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 16:46:52 +0000

I usually go through at least 3 steps before I get to my final copy. I hand write the original ideas. Then I go to my computer and rearrange some of the sentences as I transfer my original copy to the computer. I print this out and look for needed changes and make them on the draft. I print it out again to see how the edited words flow. I like seeing it in print better than reading it off the computer screen.