Deity
05-24-2010, 11:32 PM
I would appreciate scrutiny on the following piece of 'journalism'. Derek Acorah = Spiritualist.
Nuclear war is likely as Derek Acorah faces death for crimes against humanity.
The scouser ghost whisperer, Derek Acorah, was today beginning the second day of trails in the Peoples Supreme Court of China for the slaughtering of six million Jews seven years before he was born.
China's approach has been described as "nothing more than an ill thought PR stunt aimed at the west" by the UK foreign secretary William Beige, who went on to say; "The Allies of World War II wanted to murder Adolf Hitler in the most creative of ways for his immoral acts but to put a man possessed by Hitler to death is simply foolish, as Derek is also the official avatar of North Korea's Eternal President, Kim Ill-sung, and I fear war shall result if Derek is put in front of a firing squad."
The foreign secretary is now in China with popular medium Colin Fry in an attempt to resolve what has been titled by the blogosphere as the first step into China's plan to bitch the world around.
Shortly before the arrival of the UK foreign secretary in China a spokesperson for the Chinese government released a statement detailing the nature of Derek Acorah's arrest.
The spokesperson stated that; 'At 22:36 the Internet Tyranny app for the iPad alerted the police of an illegal download of a cracked Rosetta Stone: Scouse to Austrian Dictator software. By 23:01 the location had been verified as the annual global gathering of the Backward Bastards Banquet in Beijing; the armed officers were ordered to no longer shoot to kill unless they were confronted by poorly paid staff with a yellow complexion. At 23:05 the police had heroically ended the lives of eighteen waiters before storming the room containing Hitler speaking to an audience of wealthy white supremacists via the UK citizen, Derek Acorah. Thanks to the opportunism of Officer Gotchya Yitwat, Hitler was able to be arrested whilst still inside Mr Acorah."
The statement went on to say "Officer Yitwat has been given a seat on China's first moon mission scheduled for launch in 2020 for capturing the most evil man to have ever lived".
A further statement from the Chinese government is to be expected before midnight tonight in regard to the rumours that Mr Acorah has been vehemently proposing that the action taken by the Chinese government is misguided. It has been reported that Mr Acorah claims he is "just an entertainer who exploits peoples inability to find consolation when considering the finite nature of consciousness."
An industry colleague of Mr Acorah, John Edward, had the following to say in regards to the emerging rumours; "It is sad to think that Derek has to resort to such displays to have any hope of survival, but It's important to remember that it's only a rumour, thank God... oh wait, uh huh, yeah, oh my, right, tell him I send my love... Apologies, that was my spirit guide passing on a message from Derek confirming that the rumours are true; he's pleading insanity."
Around the world tensions remain high at the possibility of nuclear war as total annihilation of the human species would prevent spirits of the dead to visit the living.
Nuclear war is likely as Derek Acorah faces death for crimes against humanity.
The scouser ghost whisperer, Derek Acorah, was today beginning the second day of trails in the Peoples Supreme Court of China for the slaughtering of six million Jews seven years before he was born.
China's approach has been described as "nothing more than an ill thought PR stunt aimed at the west" by the UK foreign secretary William Beige, who went on to say; "The Allies of World War II wanted to murder Adolf Hitler in the most creative of ways for his immoral acts but to put a man possessed by Hitler to death is simply foolish, as Derek is also the official avatar of North Korea's Eternal President, Kim Ill-sung, and I fear war shall result if Derek is put in front of a firing squad."
The foreign secretary is now in China with popular medium Colin Fry in an attempt to resolve what has been titled by the blogosphere as the first step into China's plan to bitch the world around.
Shortly before the arrival of the UK foreign secretary in China a spokesperson for the Chinese government released a statement detailing the nature of Derek Acorah's arrest.
The spokesperson stated that; 'At 22:36 the Internet Tyranny app for the iPad alerted the police of an illegal download of a cracked Rosetta Stone: Scouse to Austrian Dictator software. By 23:01 the location had been verified as the annual global gathering of the Backward Bastards Banquet in Beijing; the armed officers were ordered to no longer shoot to kill unless they were confronted by poorly paid staff with a yellow complexion. At 23:05 the police had heroically ended the lives of eighteen waiters before storming the room containing Hitler speaking to an audience of wealthy white supremacists via the UK citizen, Derek Acorah. Thanks to the opportunism of Officer Gotchya Yitwat, Hitler was able to be arrested whilst still inside Mr Acorah."
The statement went on to say "Officer Yitwat has been given a seat on China's first moon mission scheduled for launch in 2020 for capturing the most evil man to have ever lived".
A further statement from the Chinese government is to be expected before midnight tonight in regard to the rumours that Mr Acorah has been vehemently proposing that the action taken by the Chinese government is misguided. It has been reported that Mr Acorah claims he is "just an entertainer who exploits peoples inability to find consolation when considering the finite nature of consciousness."
An industry colleague of Mr Acorah, John Edward, had the following to say in regards to the emerging rumours; "It is sad to think that Derek has to resort to such displays to have any hope of survival, but It's important to remember that it's only a rumour, thank God... oh wait, uh huh, yeah, oh my, right, tell him I send my love... Apologies, that was my spirit guide passing on a message from Derek confirming that the rumours are true; he's pleading insanity."
Around the world tensions remain high at the possibility of nuclear war as total annihilation of the human species would prevent spirits of the dead to visit the living.