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View Full Version : Synopsis: Would anyone read this book after reading synopsis? Opinions please!



LisaCanada
05-09-2009, 05:42 PM
Synopsis:

Nineteen year old Jena Ross has lived with her mom Sarah in their suburban Northern California neighborhood since her father died when she was a toddler. Jena has grown up a happy, well adjusted teen, whose passion is playing soccer on her college team with her best friend Abby.

Life is going great for Jena, and then one day Sheldon Drake, handsome and mysterious, yet with a hint of familiarity, who drives a dangerous looking motor cycle and a fast car, moves into her neighborhood. A run-in at school causes the two to meet for the first time...in this world.

It doesn’t take long before Jena and Sheldon fall deeply in love, only to be torn apart. You see Jena and Sheldon have met long ago.

They were once brought together in an ancient world ruled by magic, first by chance and forced apart by an ancient prophecy, and then hundreds of years later brought together in this world, by fate, and will be forced to part once more out of morality.

Jena knows that she is adopted, but what she doesn’t know, and is about to find out is that she has a sister, who incidentally just happens to be a powerful sorceress from a magical land.

This tale begins with Jena awakening from a mysterious dream. She doesn’t know it at first, but the beautiful lady in her dreams who calls out to her by her birth name (Rhayne) is her sister Rhiannon of Aelownia, older by two years, and head of the Conclave of Sorcerer’s, Rhiannon has so desperately been trying to contact Jena (Rhayne).

When Jena was born as Rhayne, her birth parents the King and Queen of Aelownia, were faced with a devastating decision. They had no choice but to send Rhayne and her twin brother Rhowyn away, to save them from the Elder’s prophecy. It took every last bit of magic she had, but she was content in the knowledge that her children were safe.

She sent with them each a magical device that would open a portal and allow them to gain entry back to Aelownia one day. Jena’s device looks like an ordinary white gold locket that was found in the basket with her on an old woman’s doorstep. Putting the locket away and saving it for when Jena got older, her adoptive mother Sarah forgot about it until Jena turned nineteen when she then gave it to her.

Things are going great, Jena has met with Rhiannon, in a space between their worlds that the portal opens up to, and now Sheldon is the love of her life.

One night while Jena sleeps, Rhiannon sees Sheldon in a dream that Jena is having and calls her to the space between their worlds to tell her that Sheldon is their brother, Jena’s twin brother. Jena feels that her life is over when she finds out that she is in love with her brother, as does Sheldon when Rhiannon tells him.

After a week of crying, Jena develops an, I don’t give a damn attitude in school and prompts fights getting her kicked off of the soccer team.
Then one day she runs into Sheldon who still makes her heart melt and they decide to go and visit their sister Rhiannon together. This visit helps both Jena and Sheldon cope with their fate, and Sheldon decides to take a break from school and go back to Texas for a while.

On the second day that Sheldon is gone; Jena develops a peculiar feeling that something is wrong. She gets Abby and opens the portal with her locket to the space between the two worlds.

For the first time when stepping out of the portal Rhiannon isn’t there to greet her, now she knows something is wrong, and goes into Rhiannon’s laboratory in the castle tower to consult with the Black Mirror. The mirror shows her that Sheldon is in danger, captured by the Elder’s and taken to the Black Mountains in Aelownia.

Jena is devastated, and will go to Aelownia, even though Rhiannon has warned her that if she ventures all the way beyond the waterfall into Aelownia, she might never be able to return to her world. Abby insists on going with her, regardless of the risk.

Dezran a member of the Sorcerer’s Conclave see’s that they are coming and meets them at the lake’s edge, accompanying Jena and Abby to Rhiannon’s castle, where they are met with a hot bath and food and attended to by servants.

Rhayne, on Dezran’s orders is dressed as the princess that she truly is and is taken to the grove to meet with the Conclave of Sorcerer’s under the light of Aelownia’s two moons. It is here that Jena feels her powers growing in strength.

Jena, who is called Rhayne in Aelownia, meets Quinn a boy her age, who is also a member of the Conclave.

Dezran sends Jena, Abby and Quinn on a dangerous journey to rescue her brother and her sister, where peril and evil creatures await them.

After eluding danger inside of the Black Mountains, they hide in a room, where they hear a weak voice calling out, Jena knows this is Sheldon’s voice, he is hiding in a closet, when they find him, and he has a deep gash on his side that is oozing blood, Jana and Abby nurse him back to health by using the healing balm that they brought with then from Rhiannon’s laboratory.

Meanwhile, Quinn and Abby leave the room to look for Rhiannon and a way out. Back in the closet Sheldon and Jena have waited for a couple days for their return and are getting quite worried about their friends, and so they decide that Sheldon is well enough that they can go and look for them.
They find danger and fight together until the three white robed (Elders) find them and spell bind them into submission.

Jena is horrified when she awakens from the spell to find that she, Sheldon and also Rhiannon who the Elders had captured earlier, are shackled by their wrists and chained to the floor, in a theatre style room with balconies carved out of the mountain itself.

Standing there in blood soaked garments, Jena is horrified as she watches a very large, heavy, iron grate in the floor open to reveal a black menacing two headed dragon. In that instant Abby and Quinn appear, invisible, from the star dust they brought with them, and sprinkle the rest on their friends as they free them from their shackles.

Invisible now, Jena and her friends and family make a run for it. In the end, Jena with her sword kills the oldest Elder, Quinn kills another Elder, leaving only one left alive, and Sheldon slays the dragon.

They manage with great difficulty to escape the mountain alive, and find them selves back in Wildwood, where they will have to spend another unearthly night.

Later that night just when they think that their luck has run out and they are to no avail fighting off the sickly white creatures that lurk in Wildwood, they are magically whisked back to Aelownia, to the grove. The Conclave of Sorcerer’s where finally able to reach them through magic just in the knick of time.

It is here and now that Quinn’s father comes to tell of the story of the twin’s birth.

The King who thought his son was dead took him to his cousin, whose wife had just died in child birth and asked his cousin to trade babies with him, so that his wife the Queen would never have to face the agony of losing her son.

The cousin who was leaving on a journey anyway gave the King his son and in exchange took the baby who they thought was dead. The cousin took the supposedly dead infant to the maid and asked her to dispose of it for him, and then he left immediately for his journey, returning two years later to find a two year old son, who the maid explained noticed had a faint heartbeat, and nursed him back to life.

Sheldon, who Jena and Rhiannon had thought was their brother was actually the King’s cousin’s son, and Quinn was actually their brother Rhowyn, Jena’s twin.

Now Jena and Sheldon can be together forever, soul mated in the cradle, before being sent away, they can now live happily ever after. They will make plans to marry in Aelownia very soon, (the next book), but with one Elder still left alive the prophecy can still be fulfilled and the Elder will surly come after the twins again.

ellanovella
06-12-2009, 12:20 AM
Just being a synopsis, I am not going to take this as if this is every detail of the story.

I would say your plot definitely has a lot of potential. What is truly challenging is letting that potential grow fully. I would suggest that you really sit down and organize everything just a little more, as in the synopsis (which I understand won't flow as smoothly as the actual story might, as the story will have more explanation and detail) the plot does seem to jump around a lot.

I would also pay attention to working on the actual flow of the writing. You can definitely tell that you have a lot of good ideas, but it is important that the writing is smooth and can be read naturally and comfortably.

I would definitely say that this has a lot of potential!

-ella

Sound of Silence
06-14-2009, 01:26 AM
The concept behind a synopsis is pretty hard to get right. Here are some simple guiders.

Most publishers ask for a 1 A4 sized synopsis. Some allow two pages, but that's down to the individual publisher. So you have your first general guider to how you need to edit your synopsis: if it doesn't fit on one page and the publisher asks for only page, you may be off to a testing start. Publishers also like your writing double-spaced, which also cuts drastically into the word limit.

Along with the synopsis, you're usually asked to send in the first chapter (sometimes three). Now, this helps you in a lot of ways. Most think they have to start at the beginning with a synopsis. You don't. You can start your synopsis from where your submission (usually a chapter) left off.

Now you've got your stating point, what exacly do you write on that single piece of paper. the ansewrs pretty simple, you given the publisher the beginning, you give him the middle - and most definitely you give him how the novel ends. You're not writing a blurb (what you read on the back cover of a book) You're giving him a complete overview of the book.

make it cover main points, a few minor if needed, but just do you're beat to make him continue reading your work.

This sounds a good story, you just need to read through the points a little and condense what you've written into a god synopsis.

Hope that helps in some small way, Lisa...