opinions? thanks!

[foreveryoung]

It was the first week of September, and surprisingly, the weather was dreadful. The past summer’s sun had melted far behind, making way for the fall’s cold chills followed by winter’s snowy skies to take its place. The old Maple trees were showing the first signs of fall as well, their large leaves were fading into every color of a sunset on the edges of their wide, sturdy branches. When fall first emerged from the Earth it would slouch down just beside the warm footprints of summer. It was almost as if fall was placed high up on a pedestal, a pedestal that decided what the future would hold for the following winter, and possibly even for the spring to come.


That is the introduction to my novel and I'm wondering if it sounds okay. Is it too wordy, too confusing? Any advice would be great. Thanks :)

[philipop]

Wow! that's actually really good i love the way you've described the colours and everything well done! :)

[Hay Hay]

I agree the way you describe the trees and leaves was very good. Well done. I don't know if I like the wording on the begining though. ...."melted far behind." This part I'm not sure if the just like the wording. It might just be me, though. But again overall, good start :)

[TokeBernbole]

I think it is very well worded great job on the description and feeling. But I wonder how this description furthers the story or setting. Do the characters live on a farm or are they feeling pent up? If there isn't a signifigance to the unfolding of the story then perhaps something shorter or more simple might help get to the point more quickly. :D