ashtonlumley
08-06-2009, 11:45 PM
I just started this recently, I want anyones opinion on how too write better. If you liked it or disliked, just tell why! All critisism is welcome!. You can tell me what I need to edit and what not; whatever it is please help me out! Thanks for reading :) It is greatly appreciated!!
Chapter 1: Once came a demon...
I sat across a long broken building. Cracks ran down the shuddered store from being smashed by attacks of demons. They love to torment people, and to blast them into things. Acting as if we are just a toy to play with. Their evil; at least most of them are. Even though I am considered an energized demon, I still am good, I am still human... Just bad runs across me here and there, but I always use my anger and power for others things, good things. Doesn't that make me better? I held a cigarette in my hand and took another puff. The drag made me feel calm. A dark blade was strapped across my back, tightly tied on by its case. I needed this blade, it helped a lot with fighting demons. The creator of it made it specially for me, she called it Azbreck. A sword of darkened power. This sword had helped me in my last two battles, without it I probably would be dead. I peered into the sky. Stars glistened through the night, followed by a full moon. It glowed across the town, impaling its bright light into the dusty air. I felt at peace with the earth, with the world. Taking another hit of my cigarette, I stood up and flicked it towards the unsee able ground. The bright glowing light from the cigarette fell and fell, until it was washed away with darkness. I toned my senses inwards; listening for any powered frequencies. After a long pause, I connected with a woman. She was about a mile away. I felt the humans fright and connected to what it was afraid of, a demon. Its hard to get in touch with demons that are further away. I hate when the demonic take over a town. They always kill everyone and everything in it. Of course there will always be survivors, but over time if some one doesn't do anything those people will be found and killed. Either by the demons or themselves. I rushed from roof top to roof top. Pushing energy from the earth into my legs. Making it easy to launch high and run fast. They call me an energy demon. I have the ability to suck energy out of things and manipulate them in my own way. Of course this power was gifted to me by a demon at a younger age, I could only use it when I was angry though. Now I have almost full control of it.
I stood upon another roof edge. Listening closely I herd a cry, I jumped down fast; pulling energy into my legs as I landed. Instead of the fall shocking my body I blasted the energy out. I rushed across the street to see a demon face to face with a woman. She screeched crying for help. The demon was smiling, thrilled with the womans cries. Inhaling the negative energy into itself for half its feed. The other half was going to be the woman herself. But I was going to try to stop that. I ran behind the demon and it twisted its head, making a crazed smile at me. Its eyes were blood red, it must have fed a lot tonight. Black goop fell across its body, and it stood on its two hind legs, as tall as a werewolf. Most demons are different sizes and shapes, stronger and weaker. Matters how long they have lived for, and if they are knowledgeable or not. This demon seemed utterly stupid, it wasn't sensing my power.
I licked my dry lips and laughed at it. Taking its focus from the woman to me. A new target for it to attack. I talked to it; “What do you think you can do; scumbag.” The demon was angry from my approach. “What can I DO!! I can rip your flesh, take your fear, I am a power you will never understand! Ill show you what I CAN DO!!” The demon charged at me with full speed. I smiled and ducked, dodging its leap attack. I stood up and turned around, the woman blacked out and laid on the floor from such shock. The demon ran back at me, on all four legs, snarling. “Ill KILL YOU.” I pulled energy into my body and I opened my hands, ready for an attack. The demon jumped up, mouth open. It launched a swiping attack. I fell onto my back; grabbing the demon by its head I hit its under belly with my legs. Letting the earths energy pulse through me, instinctive. I made the energy rush through me quickly, for the ability to react fast, and understand movement in a slower version. The demon hurled backwards, smashing into a building. It yelped a cry for other demons. “Oh no you don't.” I pulled out my dark blade. Quickly; I rushed to the demon, cutting into its neck. Black ooze spurted out onto my face, I wiped it off with my shirt sleeve. It kneeled, unable to speak or move from shock. “Any last words..? Oh wait, you cant talk!” I instantly sliced half of its head off with a smirk. The demon fell to the ground, dead. I felt a big impulse, and looked upwards. Ohhhh shit. I guess they could hear the demons cry for help, or the feel for its death... Either way, this is gunna be some trouble. Above me on a rooftop five other demons gazed at me. All I could tell were as weak as the demon I battled, one was really big though. Probably their creator. They lunged down; ready to fight.
The leader was still atop the roof, watching my strength, gazing at me with an awkward smile; one I haven't seen in a long time. So it came down to four demons against me. The first one landed in front of me. Instantly it rushed at me. I jumped up, kicking it back. Another demon bolted behind me; I ducked its swipe and twirled around slashing my blade at its legs, opening a deep wound. I felt an impulse and looked up, another figure was strait above me; a demon about to land onto my body. I rolled sideways dodging its body attack. Unleashing massive strength I stabbed the demon aside of me. Cutting deep into its stomach then, I lifted the sword upwards and sliced through its torso. The demon fell in a gasp; and the others were on me in an instant. The one with a sliced leg sprawled at me with rage, wanting to rip my body apart. I pulled a shock of energy into my right hand and grabbed the demons head. Pushing out an explosion; its body blasted into pieces. My body started to weaken from the exhaustion of energy I had been using. Two left, I got this. I took in a breath, a bad mistake.One of the creatures behind me slashed my back and I cringed in pain. “GRAH!!!!!” I tackled the demon behind me, I appeared on top of him in an instant. I raised my blade high, holding one hand on the tip of the blade, and the other on the swords hilt. Shrieking in rage, I decapitated its head. Its face was shocked with fear in the moment of its death. The last demon on the ground looked at me with fear, it didn't know what to do. It took a step back as I ran towards it. I pulled energy into my hand, pushing my fingers into the demons dark filled chest. It shrieked in pain as I grappled its heart. I looked at its eyes, which were yellow. This is the natural color of demon eyes. It knew it was going to die in this moment, it was terrified. I ripped its demonic, raging heart from its body and smashed it into its face. The dead body flew across the ground, tumbling into the street. In an instant I looked next to me, feeling a great presence. The big demon had the woman in its hand. I looked up to it and it was gnawing at her head in enjoyment. It had the same smirk as before, except bigger... There was something wrong with that smile, something I knew to well; but I couldn't put my finger on it.
The demon looked at me, I gazed back. “Those... They were my creation, only minions from dead human form. As you are too, of course your not dead like them, but little of my power is within you. I am happy we meet again. They call me a creator, but I can fight like no other so lets test your strength against me, your master, lets see what you have learned.” I looked at him with a fierce eye., shocked that this was the demon that gave me power. “How... Why are we meeting here!? I knew there was something odd about that smile!” “Haha.” It laughed. “All energies with demons and human meet at some point in time, it just happened to be here. I knew to come to this place for a reason.” The demon dropped the womans body and charged at me. It sent shocks of dark energy towards me. I pulled an energy shield around my body, and when the bolts hit I pushed the energy backwards. The demon latched out a few more bolts, my shield was down, so I took out my blade and pulled a different energy into it. When a bolt came my way I sliced through it, rippling the burst of demonic power into the air. Charging at him I swiped every shock coming my way. I lunged up with my sword above my head. While I launched down at him, the demon pulled energy into its hands, shifting its arms into blades. I collided my sword into the demons blades. I let out a burst of power trying to blast him backwards, but he was stronger than that and the pulses passed aside him. He used pure strength and pushed me back, I flew flying into a wall. My back collided first, creating a hole into the cracked building. My sword fell and I was shocked; the demon was in front of me laughing. I had no hope. He smiled, “Boy; you have a lot to learn to be able to defeat me, it's literally impossible; since I AM your creator... But it has happened once or twice in the past with stupid demons. ”
Chapter 1: Once came a demon...
I sat across a long broken building. Cracks ran down the shuddered store from being smashed by attacks of demons. They love to torment people, and to blast them into things. Acting as if we are just a toy to play with. Their evil; at least most of them are. Even though I am considered an energized demon, I still am good, I am still human... Just bad runs across me here and there, but I always use my anger and power for others things, good things. Doesn't that make me better? I held a cigarette in my hand and took another puff. The drag made me feel calm. A dark blade was strapped across my back, tightly tied on by its case. I needed this blade, it helped a lot with fighting demons. The creator of it made it specially for me, she called it Azbreck. A sword of darkened power. This sword had helped me in my last two battles, without it I probably would be dead. I peered into the sky. Stars glistened through the night, followed by a full moon. It glowed across the town, impaling its bright light into the dusty air. I felt at peace with the earth, with the world. Taking another hit of my cigarette, I stood up and flicked it towards the unsee able ground. The bright glowing light from the cigarette fell and fell, until it was washed away with darkness. I toned my senses inwards; listening for any powered frequencies. After a long pause, I connected with a woman. She was about a mile away. I felt the humans fright and connected to what it was afraid of, a demon. Its hard to get in touch with demons that are further away. I hate when the demonic take over a town. They always kill everyone and everything in it. Of course there will always be survivors, but over time if some one doesn't do anything those people will be found and killed. Either by the demons or themselves. I rushed from roof top to roof top. Pushing energy from the earth into my legs. Making it easy to launch high and run fast. They call me an energy demon. I have the ability to suck energy out of things and manipulate them in my own way. Of course this power was gifted to me by a demon at a younger age, I could only use it when I was angry though. Now I have almost full control of it.
I stood upon another roof edge. Listening closely I herd a cry, I jumped down fast; pulling energy into my legs as I landed. Instead of the fall shocking my body I blasted the energy out. I rushed across the street to see a demon face to face with a woman. She screeched crying for help. The demon was smiling, thrilled with the womans cries. Inhaling the negative energy into itself for half its feed. The other half was going to be the woman herself. But I was going to try to stop that. I ran behind the demon and it twisted its head, making a crazed smile at me. Its eyes were blood red, it must have fed a lot tonight. Black goop fell across its body, and it stood on its two hind legs, as tall as a werewolf. Most demons are different sizes and shapes, stronger and weaker. Matters how long they have lived for, and if they are knowledgeable or not. This demon seemed utterly stupid, it wasn't sensing my power.
I licked my dry lips and laughed at it. Taking its focus from the woman to me. A new target for it to attack. I talked to it; “What do you think you can do; scumbag.” The demon was angry from my approach. “What can I DO!! I can rip your flesh, take your fear, I am a power you will never understand! Ill show you what I CAN DO!!” The demon charged at me with full speed. I smiled and ducked, dodging its leap attack. I stood up and turned around, the woman blacked out and laid on the floor from such shock. The demon ran back at me, on all four legs, snarling. “Ill KILL YOU.” I pulled energy into my body and I opened my hands, ready for an attack. The demon jumped up, mouth open. It launched a swiping attack. I fell onto my back; grabbing the demon by its head I hit its under belly with my legs. Letting the earths energy pulse through me, instinctive. I made the energy rush through me quickly, for the ability to react fast, and understand movement in a slower version. The demon hurled backwards, smashing into a building. It yelped a cry for other demons. “Oh no you don't.” I pulled out my dark blade. Quickly; I rushed to the demon, cutting into its neck. Black ooze spurted out onto my face, I wiped it off with my shirt sleeve. It kneeled, unable to speak or move from shock. “Any last words..? Oh wait, you cant talk!” I instantly sliced half of its head off with a smirk. The demon fell to the ground, dead. I felt a big impulse, and looked upwards. Ohhhh shit. I guess they could hear the demons cry for help, or the feel for its death... Either way, this is gunna be some trouble. Above me on a rooftop five other demons gazed at me. All I could tell were as weak as the demon I battled, one was really big though. Probably their creator. They lunged down; ready to fight.
The leader was still atop the roof, watching my strength, gazing at me with an awkward smile; one I haven't seen in a long time. So it came down to four demons against me. The first one landed in front of me. Instantly it rushed at me. I jumped up, kicking it back. Another demon bolted behind me; I ducked its swipe and twirled around slashing my blade at its legs, opening a deep wound. I felt an impulse and looked up, another figure was strait above me; a demon about to land onto my body. I rolled sideways dodging its body attack. Unleashing massive strength I stabbed the demon aside of me. Cutting deep into its stomach then, I lifted the sword upwards and sliced through its torso. The demon fell in a gasp; and the others were on me in an instant. The one with a sliced leg sprawled at me with rage, wanting to rip my body apart. I pulled a shock of energy into my right hand and grabbed the demons head. Pushing out an explosion; its body blasted into pieces. My body started to weaken from the exhaustion of energy I had been using. Two left, I got this. I took in a breath, a bad mistake.One of the creatures behind me slashed my back and I cringed in pain. “GRAH!!!!!” I tackled the demon behind me, I appeared on top of him in an instant. I raised my blade high, holding one hand on the tip of the blade, and the other on the swords hilt. Shrieking in rage, I decapitated its head. Its face was shocked with fear in the moment of its death. The last demon on the ground looked at me with fear, it didn't know what to do. It took a step back as I ran towards it. I pulled energy into my hand, pushing my fingers into the demons dark filled chest. It shrieked in pain as I grappled its heart. I looked at its eyes, which were yellow. This is the natural color of demon eyes. It knew it was going to die in this moment, it was terrified. I ripped its demonic, raging heart from its body and smashed it into its face. The dead body flew across the ground, tumbling into the street. In an instant I looked next to me, feeling a great presence. The big demon had the woman in its hand. I looked up to it and it was gnawing at her head in enjoyment. It had the same smirk as before, except bigger... There was something wrong with that smile, something I knew to well; but I couldn't put my finger on it.
The demon looked at me, I gazed back. “Those... They were my creation, only minions from dead human form. As you are too, of course your not dead like them, but little of my power is within you. I am happy we meet again. They call me a creator, but I can fight like no other so lets test your strength against me, your master, lets see what you have learned.” I looked at him with a fierce eye., shocked that this was the demon that gave me power. “How... Why are we meeting here!? I knew there was something odd about that smile!” “Haha.” It laughed. “All energies with demons and human meet at some point in time, it just happened to be here. I knew to come to this place for a reason.” The demon dropped the womans body and charged at me. It sent shocks of dark energy towards me. I pulled an energy shield around my body, and when the bolts hit I pushed the energy backwards. The demon latched out a few more bolts, my shield was down, so I took out my blade and pulled a different energy into it. When a bolt came my way I sliced through it, rippling the burst of demonic power into the air. Charging at him I swiped every shock coming my way. I lunged up with my sword above my head. While I launched down at him, the demon pulled energy into its hands, shifting its arms into blades. I collided my sword into the demons blades. I let out a burst of power trying to blast him backwards, but he was stronger than that and the pulses passed aside him. He used pure strength and pushed me back, I flew flying into a wall. My back collided first, creating a hole into the cracked building. My sword fell and I was shocked; the demon was in front of me laughing. I had no hope. He smiled, “Boy; you have a lot to learn to be able to defeat me, it's literally impossible; since I AM your creator... But it has happened once or twice in the past with stupid demons. ”