kidchrono
03-02-2009, 11:25 PM
This is a short story I've been working on as a creative writing assignment. These were the rules of the assignment, it has to be a minimum of 1,000 words, but no more than 20,000, The main character had to be a college student, the time period is the night of High school graduation. The situation also had to be the main character wrestling with an impossible choice. As the theme of my story I choose compromise. I am having a bit of trouble with the ending, I know how I want it to end, just not quite sure how to write it. Also my word count was at 556, short of the 1,000 word minimum. I want him to have a confrontation with his parents in their home, I'm also thinking about adding the girlfriend to extend the word count with additional scenes. Below is a preview of what I have so far. Any advice would be most appreciated! Thank you and enjoy.
Pact
By Brandon “Chrono” Jones
Graduation, a time of cerebration and congratulations! All young men
and women look forward to the day when they can display proudly that
cap and gown, and stand tall with their peers and loved ones. However
this night is causing eighteen year old Hiroshi Ryuu great stress. He sits
in the food court, smell of cinnamon, and cakes swirling in the air. The
mall is buzzing with chatter, while he is slumped over with his hands
covering his face.
His best friend since birth, Tatsuya Osamu, weaves and bobs between
tables holding two cups. He sits across from his pal, handing him an
orange soda “Hey man, I got your text, what's up?” He sits up, swirls the
straw in his drink slowly, and puts on a sarcastic smile “I've been
accepted to Slonyer” Tatsuya is ecstatic over the news “That's awesome!
I'll be starting there in the fall too! Isn't your girl Ran going their too?
Why do you look so down?”
Hiroshi takes a sip of his tangy drink and states “I've also been accepted
to Starvard University” Tatsuya's eyes double in size, his jaw drops
“Wow. That's like the best school in the country. Only the best of the
best get accepted there!” Hiroshi smirks modestly “Yeah. It's sorta a
family tradition. My father, and all his fathers graduated from there. In
fact that's where dad met mom” The wheels begin to turn in Tatsuya's
head. Wait a minute, that schools on the opposite side of the country.”
“That's right. Which means if I go to Starvard, not only will I not have
friends there my first semester, but my girlfriend and I will be separated.
I never loved anyone as much as her, but this may send our relationship
straight to oblivion.” he says staring down into the half empty cup at his
orange reflection. Tatsuya leans back in his chair, crosses his legs on the
table, and puts his hands behind his head “Well that's a no brainer!
Come to Slonyer with us!” he tells him stretching out his arms wide.
Hiroshi looks him dead in the eyes “Not that simple. My parents insist I
graduate from Starvard, and carry on the family legacy. If I didn't, they'd
never forgive me” Tatsuya is stunned by this revelation. The chair
begins to tremble as he tries to regain balance.
He falls backwards out of his chair. Hiroshi shouts in frustration “I wish
my parents woren't so pedantic about this!” Tatsuya sits his chair up
and sits properly “Why not be all furtive like and just say you never
heard from Starvard” and he replies “I can't do that! I could never look
them in the eye again, and karma would curse me” Tatsuya sits back and
strokes his chin “Yeah your right, we need to come up with a bipartisan
solution” He forms a box with his hands “Slonyer is only a two year
college, it's a shame you can't squish the two together”
Hiroshi perks up, his eyes open wider as he gets an idea “That's it! Your
a genius!” He dashes out of the mall at full speed. Tatsuya turns in his
chair and watches him run away “What are you planning?!” he calls after
him. Tatsuya still doesn't understand what his big ideas is.
Pact
By Brandon “Chrono” Jones
Graduation, a time of cerebration and congratulations! All young men
and women look forward to the day when they can display proudly that
cap and gown, and stand tall with their peers and loved ones. However
this night is causing eighteen year old Hiroshi Ryuu great stress. He sits
in the food court, smell of cinnamon, and cakes swirling in the air. The
mall is buzzing with chatter, while he is slumped over with his hands
covering his face.
His best friend since birth, Tatsuya Osamu, weaves and bobs between
tables holding two cups. He sits across from his pal, handing him an
orange soda “Hey man, I got your text, what's up?” He sits up, swirls the
straw in his drink slowly, and puts on a sarcastic smile “I've been
accepted to Slonyer” Tatsuya is ecstatic over the news “That's awesome!
I'll be starting there in the fall too! Isn't your girl Ran going their too?
Why do you look so down?”
Hiroshi takes a sip of his tangy drink and states “I've also been accepted
to Starvard University” Tatsuya's eyes double in size, his jaw drops
“Wow. That's like the best school in the country. Only the best of the
best get accepted there!” Hiroshi smirks modestly “Yeah. It's sorta a
family tradition. My father, and all his fathers graduated from there. In
fact that's where dad met mom” The wheels begin to turn in Tatsuya's
head. Wait a minute, that schools on the opposite side of the country.”
“That's right. Which means if I go to Starvard, not only will I not have
friends there my first semester, but my girlfriend and I will be separated.
I never loved anyone as much as her, but this may send our relationship
straight to oblivion.” he says staring down into the half empty cup at his
orange reflection. Tatsuya leans back in his chair, crosses his legs on the
table, and puts his hands behind his head “Well that's a no brainer!
Come to Slonyer with us!” he tells him stretching out his arms wide.
Hiroshi looks him dead in the eyes “Not that simple. My parents insist I
graduate from Starvard, and carry on the family legacy. If I didn't, they'd
never forgive me” Tatsuya is stunned by this revelation. The chair
begins to tremble as he tries to regain balance.
He falls backwards out of his chair. Hiroshi shouts in frustration “I wish
my parents woren't so pedantic about this!” Tatsuya sits his chair up
and sits properly “Why not be all furtive like and just say you never
heard from Starvard” and he replies “I can't do that! I could never look
them in the eye again, and karma would curse me” Tatsuya sits back and
strokes his chin “Yeah your right, we need to come up with a bipartisan
solution” He forms a box with his hands “Slonyer is only a two year
college, it's a shame you can't squish the two together”
Hiroshi perks up, his eyes open wider as he gets an idea “That's it! Your
a genius!” He dashes out of the mall at full speed. Tatsuya turns in his
chair and watches him run away “What are you planning?!” he calls after
him. Tatsuya still doesn't understand what his big ideas is.