Comments on: And The Winner Is… Orange Bubble Power!

By: Loren

Loren — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 23:30:19 +0000

I definitely think this story is sweet and endearing, but I’m not so sure…To be perfectly frank, I was bored. I was also thoroughly confused, as your writing is creative and descriptive, but not enough to put a clear visual in my mind.
And while I have no doubt that this story is true, it did seem a bit overly dramatic. Maybe when it was actually taking place you were quite overwhelmed after trying to get your finger out, but sometimes it’s hard to portray fear and panic in a story of this style. Even if it’s realistic and we can all relate about odd places to find extreme pain.
However, your writing did portray character; you used some good adjectives; and obviously you won with this story, so it doesn’t really matter what some punk-assed kid thinks of it.
I am by no means a professional, nor do I go around trying to bust people’s chops and point out their flaws so that I can get my sick kicks. Please don’t see this as an offense or an act of pity. Or an act of revenge, for that matter: I did not enter anything into this contest, and even if I had, I wouldn’t stoop that low to try to get my ego back to normal.
Obviously a lot of people loved your writing. Maybe something didn’t sit right with me–didn’t digest well–and that is why I am writing this. You can take it however you want to.
Keep writing and best of wishes to you and your bestseller.

By: Sam

Sam — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 18:51:21 +0000

Amazing. Outstanding job. You truly deserve first place. I was captivated imediately. You sucked me in and I was there along side you the entire way. I completely last track of time and all my surroundings while your story stole my attention. Ha I loved it!
I came across this by accident, my intention was just to look up poetry and writing tips to better my writing skill, then I saw there was a contest so I decided to rake a brief look with no real intention on actually reading through an entire one. I opened the page to the top 11 and started just skimming over the first paragraph of each, little did I know your story would entrap me and devour me such as your orange bubble monster did to your finger. I truly loved it. Do you have other writings posted?
Do you have other writings posted somewhere?

By: Violet

Violet — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 02:18:21 +0000

Hey, thanks Stephen. That is good to know. However, I don’t think I’ll ever do that again! Sorry I was so long in noticing there was another post on here.

Glad you liked the story.

By: Stephen Thorn

Stephen Thorn — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 20:52:41 +0000

Great story! A fun read that just about anyone can relate to in their real-life world. A suggestion (maybe a caution?) for anyone who find themself in the jaws of a similar “plastic vampire” — an easy way to be set free is with any piece of thin, rigid material (playing card, cardboard, piece cut from plastic soda bottle, etc.). Wrap the rigid material around the trapped finger, between your hand and the jaws of the “vampire,” then slide it forward until it insinuates itself between your finger and the teeth. That should form a barrier between your skin and the teeth, allowing you to withdraw your digit without injury.

You’re welcome. (grins)

By: Violet

Violet — Fri, 22 May 2009 22:05:57 +0000

hey – my name is Violet, too! I love your lively adjectives, especially the bit about plastic vampires. This is my favorite part of the story:

“Believe me,” I pronounced grimly, “Those Scrubbing Bubbles may look cute on TV, singing their little high-pitched song, but don’t let them fool you. Those sweet grins hide sharp, powerful, orange teeth that are just waiting to attack! Lucky for me, you were here. They would have done their dirty deed, wiped up the mess, and you’d have never known what became of me.”